They say you gotta keep your routine even though you’re working from home, amirite? Well, it’s not that difficult really, not when you have at-home “colleagues” who have uncanny traits that resemble those in the office. Don’t believe me? I’m giving you a blow by blow reenactment of what it’s like to work alongside your beloved pets, who basically turn out to be just as chaotic as my team. Here are my #WFH shenanigans:
I just want to finish my to-do list for the day, take a few Instagram breaks in between and finish my job so I can shut the computer (and brain) down.
The Cat aka Mushu
That one colleague who is quietly watching from afar and pretends to not care but, really? He’s just waiting to pounce or prance, depends, whether it’s to annoy you or bring some unexpected warmth and joy in his own way.
Who in ELLE team? Associate Fashion Editor, Jenine Oh
The Dog aka Sophie
That one colleague who is brimming with enthusiasm and wants to know and to be part of anything and everything you’re doing, even if it means sharing a bowl of soup — though that’s totally not recommended during this time.
Who in ELLE team? Creative Project Specialist, Gregory Woo
Arriving at the “office”
The first thing I’d do after reaching the “office” is to clear my table to have that physical (and emotional) space to check on the news site before braving the day with a cup of Nespresso on hand.
The Cat: “I was up all night trying to unknot that purple ball of yarns and I don’t know how I fell asleep and I somehow woke up with a pink feather in my mouth. I’m not entirely awake, yet. Don’t talk to me, unless I initiate. But hey, what’s that tassel-looking thing dangling off your dress? It’s cute, let me try to pull it off with my mouth. I promise to look cute while I’m at it.”
The Dog: “Good Morning! Did you see I didn’t make a mess last night? I was such a good gurllll. Pet me! Give me some treats! Can we have a moment together, perhaps a morning walk? Come on, I know you’re listening!”
This is my absolute me-time, surfing random things on my phone recharges my energy. Do I need another air purifier? Or perhaps, a new pot just to make bone broth over the weekend? That phone sanitiser I just saw on IG Ad is pretty interesting.
The Cat: “What is lunch? I eat only when I need to. Food is sustenance and doesn’t bring me joy… but maybe, I’ll have that tiny crumbs of chicken skin on the table. Oh, is that a bag of popcorn? Let me put my hand in and feel its styrofoam-like texture.”
The Dog: “When is my turn to eat? Have you cooked my food? What’s the menu today? What are you eating? Can I see? Let me smell it? When is my turn to eat?”
At the copier
I’m not the best with technology and more often than not, the printer is always not communicating with my laptop whenever I want to use it. Mood: 100% annoyed.
The Cat: “Did you just move me from my sleeping spot? Did something just blink? Where did it go? Sorry, what were you trying to do again? Oh, it started zapping my paws. Let’s press this button?”
The Dog: “Come, let me help you. Direct your attention to me, did you see this ball? Pick it up and throw, it’ll be alllll fine.”
Just trying to host a meeting to deliver my message in the most efficient way, before my body-batter is drained.
The Cat: “What are you guys talking about? I’ve been executing my projects all day — shredding loose pieces of papers and rubbing my hair on every rough surface I can find. You guys are late.”
The Dog: “What do you mean I’m not allowed into the meeting? I can behave and I will keep my mouth shut, unless someone opened a big bag of chips.”
Practice safe distancing
It’s not social distancing guys. We just need to keep a safe distance; we can always remain social.
The Cat: “Really? You’re finally following my mantra? Stay away. Don’t say that I didn’t want you. I’ll hiss if you come any closer.”
The Dog: “What social distancing? I iz you and you iz me. We belong together. Hug me! Just one last time, please?”
In and out. Number 1 or number 2, I’ll be done under 5.
The Cat: “You can go yourself. I’ll be fine here. Maybe I’ll follow behind you and creep around to see if the position of that toilet paper has changed so I could just jump over from that shelf and use my paw to unroll it unto the floor?”
The Dog: “Yay, lifting my ass up from that one spot is the best feeling ever. Can we take a longer toilet break? Perhaps a detour to that field at the other block just because the grass there is less prickly, and that the air smell less familiar?”
Knocking off work
Time to do whatever I want. That includes having a long dinner with the husband and watching mindless TV shows. Have you finished Love is Blind?
The Cat: “What? It’s already evening? I still have a lot of things to do, like chasing my tail, knocking a bunch of coins off the table and lying upside down on that old carton. I haven’t even gotten my daily dose of unnecessary scare and race out of the room yet!”
The Dog: “Yay, time to go out! Let me just tidy up all my toys around the house. Wait, there’s also a chewing bone that I think I might want to gnaw on it later so I better keep it somewhere safe first. Oh, that alligator squeaky soft toy that would be great to rest my head on, let me get that as well. Wait, is that or the bird soft toy better? I can’t decide. You need to wait for me, I’ll be quick.”